The Beginner’s Guide to Introducing Toys into Your Sex Life

 If you’re looking for a fun way to spice up your sex life, then look no further. A RAZZ writer, under the pseudonym of ‘Jack Rabbit’, has created this beginner’s guide to take you through some sex toys that can liven up the bedroom. This piece was originally published in our INDULGENCE issue but has been republished online for SHAG week and has been edited further.

Illustrations by Sophie Chapman

Using toys is a great way to experiment sexually with a partner, as a reported 52% of couples already know. The first step to introducing toys into your sex life is to discuss the topic with your partner: it will not only add a new dimension of sex to explore, but will also create a deeper bond knowing you can discuss a very intimate matter as a couple. 

Starting a discussion about sex toys with a partner can be difficult, but there are different ways where you can address this casually. Showing your partner this article can be an easy conversation starter! Alternatively, browsing sex toys online or in a store together will make it easier to see their reaction and figure out which ones you are both interested in. In Exeter, we’re lucky enough to have the sex shop,  Simply Pleasure (156 Sidwell Street, EX4 6RT), whose friendly staff are always more than happy to answer any questions or concerns, and will guide you through their stock in an open and non-judgemental manner. It’s important to reassure your partner by debunking the misconception that sex toys will replace them, and affirming them that toys can make things more exciting for the both of you. Most importantly though, before trying anything, make sure that both you and your partner are fully comfortable with the situation. 

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A good starter is items like handcuffs and blindfolds. They are easy to use and non-invasive – making them the perfect warm up. A popular, safe, and less daunting option, but guaranteed fun. Vibrators are also among the most popular sex toys, specifically for clitoral stimulation and can make sex with a partner instantly more interesting. The best way to go about choosing one is to research the different types and find out what would be best for you; it is worth spending a few extra quid for that extra bit of pleasure. Simply Pleasure have a great selection of vibrators, and importantly have a good price range, from basic bullet vibrators to slightly pricier couple’s vibrators. Obviously, there are advantages of spending a little more, but you can always start off trying a cheaper product and then build-up to the more luxurious items. 

Using a vibrator during penetrative sex with a partner will definitely take the experience to the next level. The added clitoral stimulation is more likely to help you achieve that ‘big O’ and leave both you and your partner satisfied. For a more intimate experience, you can have your partner use it on you and experiment with the different settings, making it more spontaneous. If you were lucky enough to attended RAZZ’s sex toy workshop, with products kindly donated by Simply Pleasure, you’ll have seen the advantage of having a range of settings so that the initial setting is not too intense and you can gradually build up for climax. 

Another fun toy to use with your partner is a couple’s vibrator. These are ‘C’-shaped with one end going in the vagina and the other on the clitoris. This vibrator has different settings which vibrate against the G-spot and the clitoris, giving you intense pleasure; it can even be used during penetrative sex to stimulate your partner as well. Some of these vibrators are synced with an app, making it a great toy to use with a long-distance partner. While these are on the pricier side, some toys are definitely worth investing in. 

If you have a vagina and your partner has a penis, a vibrating cock-ring is something that would provide pleasure for both of you. The ring will make your partner last longer while the vibrating bullet will stimulate both their penis and your clit during sex, making it an enjoyable toy to use for both. The clitoral stimulation is in sync with the thrusting, which will give you an intense feeling of having the double stimulation of both your vagina and your clitoris.

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If both you and your partner have a vagina, using a strap-on is something you can experiment with to enhance vaginal stimulation. Not only will the receiving end get that pleasure, but the giving end will also feel empowered by being able to provide that. You can even add a bullet vibrator to the base of the dildo for the giving end to get clitoral stimulation at the same time. Additionally, a double-sided dildo is a toy that can be used by both of you simultaneously, if you want to share similar sensations.

When using any sex toy, it is important to clean them before and after every use. You can do this by either using water if they are waterproof or buying specific wet wipes/sprays which can be found online and in stores. 

Many couples report increased sexual satisfaction after incorporating toys into their sex lives. While this is just a small guide to sex toys, there are many out there that you and your partner can experiment with. Happy shagging!

-Jack Rabbit

 

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