First Date Stories: “This is the Moment You’ve Been Waiting For”

*Trigger Warning: unwanted sexual advances*

I distinctly remember getting ready for my first (and worst) date, dispelling any nerves by blaring out Katy Perry’s ‘Teenage Dream’ and heavily applying Maybelline’s Baby Lips! We had decided to go and see The Great Gatsby at our local cinema and after insisting that he paid for our tickets and snacks, brandishing two £20 notes (flashing that cash) that his Dad had given him to “treat” me with we found our seats and the adverts began. As the lights started to dim, I felt his hand on my knee – I thought nothing more of this until he started moving higher and higher up my leg and becoming increasingly more uncomfortable, my 14-year-old self suddenly rushed into action, slapping his hand and quickly hurrying out of the cinema. Naturally, he came speeding after me and as I quickly SOS messaged my Dad to come and collect me, he insisted on waiting. We proceeded to engage in a deeply awkward silence as I glared at him, too cross to speak, until he leaned in towards me with the grotesquely cliché line, “This is the moment you’ve been waiting for”, to which I instantly sprung back and his kiss caught the edge of my ear!!! Fortunately, my Dad’s car emerged around the corner several seconds later. I made my lucky escape and never spoke to Mr ‘Handsy’ again.

Emily Bond

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